I Don't Believe. And I Don't Want To Anymore

When considering what movies to go see this weekend it was between Hellboy 2 and Step Brothers. I missed Hellboy the first time around because I was away for the weekend but I'm really more in the mood to laugh and Step Brothers has a more convenient show time so I'll probably go see that. Maybe I'll catch both though. There should be a third movie on that list though, shouldn't there?

Yes, The X-Files: I Want To Believe comes out this weekend. And yes, I was a huge fan of the show. Keyword there is was. I know the plot of the flick. It sounds stupid. It has nothing to do with the conspiracies in the show which is probably a good thing because even if I did feel like rewatching 9 seasons worth of the show I doubt I'd know what the hell was going on. The finale was a mess that provided answers to questions I'd already long-forgotten and stopped caring about.

People tend to think I'm a fanboy. And to some degree it's true. There are certain movies I love, franchises and TV shows that I will defend with every fiber of my being. But nothing is perfect. And if the quality of a show starts to decline I'm not gonna give it a pass because "It's the X-Files dude!" No, that's not good enough. It wasn't good enough then and it's not good enough now. I abandoned the X-Files around the time Duchovny left to...well I don't know what he left to do but he left. I hear the stand-alone episodes during Robert Patrick's tenure were very good. I'll have to check them out some day. But the truth is I'm not really a hardcore fanboy. I saw the new Indiana Jones. Seeing Indy again for the first time was awesome. Seeing Marion and Indy together was awesome. Watching these two characters I love traipse through a plot that was at times silly, put into situations that at times bordered on self-parody...I refuse to join the fanboys who defend it. The movie was OK. It was the worst of the series. Shia Lebouef had a Tarzan scene. CGI prairie dogs. A nuke-proof fridge.

I'm sorry, but there are some things I just can't abide. Just like I can never defend anything but the last fight in Phantom Menace I can't defend large swaths of Crystal Skull. And I can't defend the decision to bring back two beloved characters whose arc ended long ago in a story that would have been one of the show's weakest episodes. Their story was done. Their finale was painful, poorly written and largely unsatisfactory. But it was over. The X-Files would go down as a great show that set up the TV landscape for all the LOSTs, ALIASes, and FRINGEs that have come since. In the end they just couldn't get it done but at least it was a great ride at times.

So why this? Why ruin the reputation of a show that already was suffering and was only now recovering its rightful place in the pantheon of TV classics? It's painful enough to read critiques that recall the show's glory days only to remind us that the reason it isn't held in higher esteem is the creators' lack of foresight. But to bring it back now only to underscore its one tragic flaw?

Chris Carter put together something special. He laid the groundwork for the genius of JJ Abrams to dominate genre television (say what you will about his Star Trek reboot and horrible Superman script, watch the last season of LOST and tell me it doesn't keep you on edge through every single episode). He probably made it easier for Joss Whedon to introduce us to a certain Vampire Slayer and her undead love. But enough is enough.

Chris Carter, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Sam Raimi, and anyone else with a franchise to exploit: please stop. I don't cherish having to defend franchises, stories, and characters that were once beloved because you have an ego that needs inflating or an itch that needs to be scratched. Restraint, temperance; these are virtues. You cannot top your glory years. You cannot revive and recapture the magic of our chidlhoods. Seeing Harrison Ford on the screen with a fedora at 60 will never be the same as seeing him when I was 5 and begging my mom for a whip. The Star Wars universe doesn't need to be expanded by you Mr. Lucas, it's obvious you no longer relate to these characters nor its fans. To be honest it's clear you hold us all in contempt and to a degree resent us. Spielberg; you reinvented yourself as a masterful dramatic storyteller. Hone that skill. Leave the CGI-wizardry and ambitiously large action scenes to your successors (Minority Report and War of the Worlds were great; until the last half of the latter and the final 20 minutes of the former, both of which were far too lengthy to begin with).

It's tough enough being a fan of genre fiction. People don't get it and most dismiss it. Don't make it harder by turning once-gold-standards into cautionary tales for the likes of Christopher Nolan and Jon Favreau. I don't need new installments, the DVDs are just fine for me. Nobody made a sequel to Casablanca or Citizen Kane. There is no Gone With The Wind trilogy. Please take note.

Thank you,
A Fan