It's amazing what being bored out of your skull can do for your imagination. During a lull at work today (well not so much a lull as a decision not to do work for an hour) I started thinking about cool stuff I could invent. While I didn't come up with any actual products or prototypes I did come up with a list of things that annoy me and that someone should get working on. I'd do it myself but the new season of Battlestar Galactica has already started and I gotta catch up!
- The Metro is really crowded and when I got on it yesterday it smelled like puke.
- People smell disgusting - especially when they sweat/breathe. Obviously toothpaste and deodorant are not cutting it.
- My Subway sandwiches always fall apart and I'm left scrounging the wrapper for lettuce and onions. I don't like to waste, there's people starving in the world and I'm not about to join them.
- Ugly people who think you're checking them out when in reality you're really just trying to figure out where it all went horribly wrong.
- Things that taste good make you fat.
- Cancer. It sucks ass people, fix it!
- My building has 7 elevators yet only 2 run at any one time. While I understand that if I was the guy running elevators this would be sadistically hilarious I don't like to stand closer than 5 feet from people: see #2 above.
- Tonight I have to watch My Name is Earl, Scrubs, The Office, 30 Rock, Lost and Grey's Anatomy. Even with a DVR this is daunting. Can't we spread that out some? Do we really need 2 one-hour American Idols in a week? Or According to Jim?
- I think there's really no reason why a statue of me can't be built in Times Square.
- Monkey butlers. It's time they gave something back.
It's for the good of mankind, don't be selfish.
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3 comments:
I must say...the Subway sandwich thing REALLY bothers me. I mean I love Subway, but the sloppiness must stop.
On that note... you'll appreciate the stupidity of the woman I'm about to tell you about. On Tuesday, I decided to scoot out of the office (yes, scoot.) to get Subway. The guy behind me in line ordered a cheesesteak. Why a cheesesteak from Subway...I'm not sure. But anyway, the first one to start on the sandwich put the meat in the microwave (that's begging for an obscene comment of some sort) and the second one started to add the onions and cheese and whatnot. She was about to wrap it up.. when he says, "Uh.. is the meat on there?" Subway worker #2 responds, "What meat?" Yes. She then said she thought it was a veggie sandwich. With just onions and lettuce and cheese. Please pat yourself on the back for being the biggest moron in Lancaster.
This is the second time I have seen you mention a monkey butler - the first time, you called it a monkey helper. Just a weird fun fact of Jurgen Castro. You're some freaky monkey lover.
I don't know how I got here. But I did. Since the last comment here was in 2008 I don't know if you're even alive. But if you are, get working on monkey butlers. That would be pretty sweet.
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